Labyrinth

Labyrinth (1986)
Jim Henson

If you are a true child of the 80’s that likes to embrace all that is .. well ... 80s you can’t go past a flick that combines the creator of The Muppets and David Bowie in tights.
Labyrinth follows the story of 15 year old Sarah (Jennifer Connelly) as she tries to retrieve her screaming baby brother from the King of the Goblins, Jareth (David Bowie) who is at the centre of a Labyrinth which was set as a trap.

Within the Labyrinth Sarah acts a total ditz while running into some interesting characters, all of which are puppets created by the genius Henson, as well as some sticky situations (or stinky if you are talking about the Bog of Eternal Stench) that are the typical “throw in a few moral dilemma stories” about family and friendship. But aside from that namby pamby there are some great scenes that truly bend the mind, such as the Escher-inspired castle and the masquerade ball on acid. And this is all before one even begins to talk about all that is Bowie.

This movie is really about Bowie. He appears throughout the entire film covered in glitter, hair FULL of product and his package bulging out of his super tight tights, rolling a crystal ball around in his hand. Fair to say this is how most of us imagine Bowie hangs around home in his spare time anyway. Bowie wrote and performed all the music that appears in the film specifically for the film, so prepare for some really awkward moments when it is just him on screen singing a song and playing with his crystal balls. Especially the one where there is a fleeting moment of sexual tension/desire between his character (assuming his age would be mid 30s) and Sarah, who we have established is 15 ... Jail bait.

This movie defines my childhood so I am pretty keen on it, but if you haven’t seen it and are in for a bit of a laugh and the possibility of completely loving it, please do.
9/10

Alicia Grinch

Sea of Love

Sea of Love, 1989

After the roaring success of Scarface in 1983, Al Pacino had a mid 80's lull. He starred in the disappointing Revolution in 1985 before his longest film hiatus in the last 40 years. It wasn't until Sea of Love in 1989 that he returned to movie theatres.

Directed by Harold Becker (Malice, Mercury Rising), Sea of Love's leading man is Frank Keller (Pacino) - a hard drinking New York detective on the hunt for a serial killer with a penchant for rhyming love poetry. His partner on the case, Sherman (John Goodman), is full of beans and together they invent an orgininal way of setting a trap. But mid investigation, a scarlet woman (Ellen Barkin) enters the frame and poor old Frank is sent into a tailspin.

The build up in this movie is terrific - sharp writing and vibrant characters make it buzz along. Pacino is very good with this sort of material - goading colleagues, wooing women etc. and Goodman is just as enjoyable.

There's a scene between Pacino and Barkin that would be better suited in a David Attenborough doco but I'll let you decide whether it's really good or really bad.

There is nothing too remarkable about Sea of Love but it did mark the start of an incredibly busy period for Pacino. Between 89 & 93 he made 8 films including Godfather III, Scent of a Woman, Glengarry Glen Ross & Carlito's Way. I wonder what a complete disaster would have done to his career ? Instead it was a confidence builder for a movie legend.

6/10 Nutbuckle

AVP: Alien v. Predator

AVP: Alien v Predator, 2004

Snap reviewed the original Alien films and heaped them with praise so I thought I'd pick up from where he left off. AVP brings together two of the most ruthless killers the big screen has ever seen.

The Predator first bobbed up with Arnie and Carl Weathers in 1987 - stalking, killing and skinning its prey until its heart was content. It's a calculating, dangerous mother fucker who combines state of the art technology with old fashioned rat cunning. Think Lote Tuqiri on Proton Pills.

Eight years earlier, where no one could hear you scream, we laid eyes on The Alien. Not a Marvin the Martian type extra terrestrial but a toxic, vicious, heartless slut of a thing. Not even as an infant is The Alien to be trusted. Let's face hug it out bitch.

These two cinematic serial killers first met up in comic books and video games in the mid nineties but it took a few false starts before they combined on film.

AVP is directed by Paul Anderson - not P T Anderson of There Will Be Blood fame but P W S Anderson who was in charge of Mortal Kombat and the very watchable Event Horizon.

After a giant pyramid is discovered under Antarctica the race is on to get there first. But when the hand picked team turns up - a trail has already been blazed for them and alarm bells start going off. Turns out The Predators have had a vested interest in the place for a long time and would prefer the maintenance of the building was left to them. The Aliens lurk deep in the pyramid's bowels - ready to be hunted like rabid clay pigeons.

This is good - and if you avoid the Alien's blood - clean fun. Both the Aliens and Predators look great and a convenient mid-movie explanation paints a fairly clear picture of what's going on.

It can't be compared to the first two Alien films of the first Predator but there's many worse ways to spend 90 minutes.

5/10 Nutbuckle

Champions (The Mighty Ducks)

Champions, 1992
(Emilio Estevez, Joss Ackland, Joshua Jackson)

midbus.

Disney produces this feel good ice hockey gem as only disney knows how to do. This is cheese at its all time quadruple-brie best but you can't help but warm to the young 'district 5' rapscallions who band together to take on the (would steal your nan's toffees) Hawks.

Estevez plays hot-shot lawyer Gordon Bombay who has lost sight of his humble pond-skating roots. Too focussed on winning at any cost, Gordon bombs out with an all American DUI. As often is the case, he gets away with coaching a local sports team while remaining on full-pay at his 'Ducksworth' law firm.

The now too familiar journey to redemption for Bombay is not exactly breaking the mould for disney but after 100 odd minutes, and 17 years later, this reviewer couldn't care - characters like Charlie Conway, Hans, Coach Reilly, Fulton Reed and Goldberg, the Goalie, still hold a special place in most people who grew up in the 90s' hearts. You may still roar with laughter at fart jokes and poo gags if you haven't matured quite as much as expected (personal gag - eds.)

Famed director Stephen Herek (pfft!) and most of the cast haven't been sighted since but you have to hope that even Matt Doherty, who plays the awkward ginger geek Averman, might still look upon 1993 with fond memories.

'It ain't worth winning, if you can't win big.'

A family classic.

7/10

Die Hard

Die Hard, 1988

There are moments in a man's life that he’ll remember forever. His first kiss, the first time he had a beer or the moment he realises he’ll never be captain of the Australian cricket team. Then there’s the moment he first sees ‘Die Hard’ – the quintessential mid 80’s action flick and greatest Christmas movie of all time.

Bruce Willis is John McClaine the role he was born to play, a divorced cop who has a knack of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. McClaine ends up stuck in a building during a robbery – a simple premise but in the hands of director John McLaughlin it becomes a textbook example of what a good action movie should look like. Sparse plot, plenty of glass smashing and violence and plenty of one liners.

Famous for its catchphrase “Yippee kay ay motherfucker” Die Hard transcends its 80’s origins to be a movie that is still as enjoyable today as it was when it was first released.

There are other actors in the movie, most notably Carl Winslow from that ridiculous Steve Urkel sitcom but lets be honest the entire movie is about Bruce and action, in that order. Spawning a number of sequels including the underrated third movie in the series Die Hard these days is a trip down memory lane to a simpler time when heros were police, villains were German and terrorism was strictly for money rather than religion.

9 out of 10

Umes

Shattered Glass

Shattered Glass, 2003

Based on a true story, Shattered Glass explores the tumultuous career of journliast Stephen Glass (Hayden Christensen) during his three year stint at political and arts magazine, 'The New Republic'.

His stories are so interesting they might not be entirely true.

Directed by Billy Ray (Breach), Shattered Glass is an intelligent, well scripted look at some very interesting subject matter.

Christensen is good in the lead role but it's the supporting actors that make this film the winner it is. Peter Sarsgaard (An Education) plays a fellow New Republic writer and thrives in the role while Hank Azaria (Godzilla), Steve Zahn (Sahara) and Rosario Dawson (The 25th Hour) are also part of what really is an A-grade cast.

You'll cringe and squirm as the career of Stephen Glass painfully unravels but it's compelling stuff and a story deserving of being told this thoroughly. There are no bells and whistles here, but sharp writing and editing keep you glued.

Shattered Glass will make you question every magazine article you pick up and that's not a bad thing.

9/10

Nutbuckle

Star Wars - Episode IV - A New Hope

Star Wars, 1977

We all know about Star Wars - the global marketing phenomenon that started out with this low budget space opera from 1977. Responsible for launching George Lucas as a successful film-maker (his previous works THX1138 and American Graffiti while critically acclaimed were not commercially successful) as well as introducing Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Han Solo and Chewbacca to a legion of unsuspecting children who had never seen anything quite like it.

The plot when it comes right down to it isn't the most cutting edge. Indeed it rarely rises above B-movie level and relies heavily on plotlines from other movies. However Lucas somehow created a movie that became greater than the sum of its parts. While aficionados of the genre will swear that the sequel, The Empire Strikes Back, is the superior movie (and they'd be right), there's a certain charm in the original movie.

Harrison Ford is a standout in his breakthrough role as Han Solo, privateer with a heart of gold. Mark Hamill is constantly annoying as only a 17 year old teenager can - and Alec Guiness was an amalgam of every single mentor in every single coming of age movie of all time. The combination is magic on screen, complemented nicely by the villainous Darth Vader and the pretty Princess Leia.

The other movies in the series are much more complex and deal with more complicated themes, but the original is still fun for a wild two hour ride and imagining you're 7 years old and the fate of the Rebellion hinges on you 'Using the Force'. A modern classic.

8/10

- Umes

Houseguest

Houseguest, 1995

Is there a movie out there you've seen multiple times for no apparent reason? For me it's outrageous comedy Houseguest.

The irrepressible Sinbad plays a con man on the run from the mob. To avoid being caught he poses as the childhood friend of Gary Young (the late Phil Hartman) and winds up staying with his family.

This is silly stuff but there are reasons to not dismiss it completely.

Firstly, Phil Hartman, has a voice (see Troy McClure) good enough to make the phone book entertaining and in light of his death all of his work is worth cherishing.

Secondly, actors from two of TV's most decorated shows bob up in completely over the top roles. Jeffrey Jones (Deadwood) plays a dentist - not convinced that Sinbad is who he claims to be, while Paul Ben-Victor (Season 2 of The Wire) is the mobster chasing the star's tail.

Houseguest is ridiculous - complete with a terrifically stupid wine tasting scene and a bizarre trip to the golf course.

This is by no means a recommendation but if you're in the mood for something dumb and miss Phil Hartman's voice, well.....the offer's there.

4/10

Nutbuckle

Species

Species, 1995

Natasha Henstridge is a common sight on the small screen these days (Eli Stone, Commander In Chief) but in 1995 she had hundreds of teenage boys in a spin thanks to Species.

Henstridge plays Sil - the product of a DNA splicing experiment gone right.

Part human, part Alien - Sil needs to mate with a male to properly wreak havoc on Earth's inhabitants.

Also appearing in this soft porn sci-fi are the uber cool Michael Madsen (Reservoir Dogs), Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland), Ben Kinglsey (Gandhi) and even a very young Michelle Williams (Brokeback Mountain).

Critics didn't welcome Species with open arms but I think it's entertaining enough to warrant a look - the supporting cast has fun with what they're given.

It's directed by Australian born Roger Donaldson who was responsible for Cold War drama 'Thirteen Days' and the very watchable 'The Bank Job' and he keeps a good pace up here.

It's probably worth the hiring fee for Henstridge alone.

6/10

Nutbuckle

Highlander

Highlander, 1986

The good name of Highlander has been tarnished by a series of underwhelming follow-ups but the original remains a downright classic.

Frenchie Christopher Lambert (Mortal Kombat) plays immortal Scotsman Connor MacLeod - over 400 years old but still up for a fight.

Mentored by the Egyptian born Ramirez (Sean Connery, Goldfinger) - MacLeod prepares for 'The Gathering' - the grand final for immortal warriors.

Standing in MacLeod's way is The Kurgan (Clancy Brown, The Shawshank Redemption) - whose 3000 years on earth have left him a little cynical and nasty. The Kurgan's people were originally so evil they would throw children into deep pits full of hungry dogs. This sort of form makes him an easy man to root against.

The idea of immortality (decapitation is the only way to finish off an immortal) has always fascinated me and it's well thrashed out here. The concept of 'The Quickening' is original and clever.

With a killer soundtrack by Queen and a wonderfully dreary snapshot of New York in the 1980's - Highlander is rewarding viewing.

I encourage you to watch the whole franchise of movies (plus the TV spin-off) but after all - 'there can be only one'.

Dark, ominous and intriguing - Highlander is a worthy addition to your video collection.

9/10

Nutbuckle